Artist Sadness

time will passIt’s 12:03am. There’s a chance I’m coming down with a cold or something judging on how my head feels. I’m tired. But like most nights I’m not ready for bed yet.

My husband and I went to our local “con” today, we were there most of the day. Part of why I’m tired. It wasn’t horrible, but it is in the start up phase still. It’s only the second year. But I’m not up to write about the comic convention. Well, not really. I want to write about the artist.

I look up to these people. These are people that are all in varying degrees of their careers. One dude we met has sold many designs on t-shirt sites…designs that both my husband and I recognized. Others we have seen through local events and museums. Some, well, have just never heard of.

But all these artist had one thing in common…there need to get your attention and for you to part with your money. I know, it sounds fairly crass when put that way but after all that is why they are there. But we didn’t have the money. We just walked by looking and pointing to what we liked and wanted. But they only things that came home were trinkets (albeit CUTE little things). I wanted to support these people more. I wanted to show them that I didn’t just like their stuff enough to oogle it for a brief moment as I passed by but that I wanted to oogle it everyday in my own home. And after all isn’t that what they want?

At times I can be a bit too empathetic. Today was one of those days. I can only imagine being one of those artist feeling the slight tinge of reject with each person that walks by to man handle your goods and leave you feeling used. Or the ones who don’t even glance your way.

Each visit to a booth felt like a mini relationship to me. In a span of 30 seconds to 5 minutes there was the gentle flirting stage where you admired their work, they would perk up hoping to garner more of your attention. Then you take it to the next level, you ask how much their wares are, you fiddle with things on their tables. Some are sullen knowing an inevitable rejects others become increasingly wishful. Then you realize you just can’t do it. Or you think maybe there’s something better. Can you really commit to this one piece? Where are you going to put it? You really like it, but let’s face it the color schemes just don’t fit your current theme in your living room…there’s so many reasons that come up that you have to find a way to break this relationship off. Some you want to run away from for whatever reason, perhaps the artist is a bit too push or nasty, but you can’t just walk by. You don’t want to be mean and after all you’ll have to see them again on your next pass. Others you want to assure them that you’ll come back, and sometimes you do. It’s the “I’ll call you” line.

Geez, that’s soooooo much to take in as an artist. And I know that rejection is a part of it. But my heart went out to those people today. And while I may just be “imagine feeling” their pain it doesn’t change the fact that to be an artist skin needs to be toughened.

But the reason I’m sad is I have been inundated with way too much great art lately. (on Friday a couple of girlfriends and I went on a gallery walk downtown) And I know those people are better then me and some are just scraping by. It can be discouraging. It’s good to remember to look to others for inspiration but to limit it. Otherwise you get the sads. I know I’ll get over it. But I needed to put this out there. Have any other artist felt this way? Felt the waves of others greatness crushing your talent? Or the repeated break ups from prospective clients? Am I just being down because of an impending cold? (I’d really like some opinions on this)

To pursue art is to pursue a lover that will forever lead you on.

4 thoughts on “Artist Sadness

  1. used to have that feeling (I think I wrote a blog about it) but then trashed that feeling away because in order to become a fair-minded artist, you must acknowledge that there are artists out there who are younger than you and have more talent. all artists around the word can draw the same straight line but we can’t draw the same circle (all art is different, acknowledge that). (if it wasn’t for this resolve, I would have never joined wordpress, read different variety of comics and joined deviantart)

    • It’s not a matter of skill deferential that concerns me, i always know there will be better and worse then me. It’s more just seeing this struggle in those who go over looked that is saddening

  2. It was late when I wrote it so I may have not been uber clear. But a summary of what I was getting at is that it’s discouraging seeing people who have great talent struggling and fighting to stay up and make it in a market place that is already saturated with so much talent.

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